Naked in Sneakers: The Truth Behind The Tough Girl

Back in August 2024, I attended an intimate live event where Peter Crone, the Mind Architect was speaking at One Golden Thread on Abbot Kinney. There was about 50 people there, and it felt like such a safe space. At this point, I had been unraveling my past for years and had done a lot of healing, but still felt a lot of insecurities like envy, body dysmorphia, and feeling less than in comparison to anyone else. But I had come across Peter's work, which is all about dissolving and integrating the parts of us that feel these things so we can life with more freedom and love rather than fear and suffering.

The night started and he coached a woman that was struggling with her relationship to her daughters. It was a beautiful conversation and she said something that I really resonated with, "Oh! I'm creating my own evidence of this." After their conversation was finished, Peter asked if anyone got anything from that. Without thinking, I raised my hand quickly and shared how I loved that sentence.

"What evidence are you creating in your life?" Peter asked.

Shit. Okay. And I just started speaking about how I don't feel like I'm good enough, others are better than me, and I'm a bad person. Through this conversation, I revealed how I was abused physically and mentally by my first gymnastics coach at the ages of 7-11. And how I can look back on it and sort of laugh now because I know that it had nothing to do with me and everything to do with my coach and whatever she was going through. Then he said something that immediately created a pit in my stomach. "I acknowledge your intelligence to see that, but I'm not gonna let that seven year old not be seen for a minute."

Throughout our conversation, which I will link below, I started realizing that I've always felt ignored or passed over by others. And although I had accomplished so many things like my dream career, winning world titles in my sport, having an amazing relationship with my husband, I realized that I was only becoming the best version of my limited self. It was never going to feel like enough, because I had abandoned myself. I took what the coach said as truth for 2.5 decades. Each time I felt hurt, I would bypass this and go workout. Or go for a run. Literally anything to not be with this awful, painful feeling. And there was nothing wrong with this either, it's just that the foundation to my identity was no longer serving me. It was called "I don't matter. My needs don't matter. I'm disposable."

It's quite incredible to see how this evidence was created over and over in my life. I was a stuntwoman that could get thrown around 30+ times and I was always willing to take more, though there was part of me that didn't feel okay. I'd even torn my rotator cuff and tried not to say anything about it so we could get the take we needed and I wouldn't have to disappoint anyone! I'd get passed over for job opportunities that I was such a good fit for. I felt ignored. But the reality is that I was ignoring myself, and my external reality had no choice to reflect that to me. That's why it's important to realize that healing is internal. You cannot "fix" the external without first addressing the root cause buried within. I broke down in tears realizing that I would no longer be able to do this to the 7-year-old I locked away, that she deserves to be heard as well.

Once Peter helped me see that of course this is not a truth and this foundation was living in my mind and made up of words, I felt so free. The walls crumbled down and I literally began my life as a new person. I started listening to my own needs, which were to finally rest. My body dysmorphia started to dissolve. I no longer felt envy, and the few times I did get a twinge of it, I allowed it to be there. And with this, I was able to heal the ongoing thyroid condition I had for years. Never underestimate the power of the mind!

Just a few days ago, the conversation I had with Peter was posted on his instagram which has reached several hundreds of thousands of people, and it's still climbing! I didn't realize how much fear I had around this being shared. I felt as if I was completely naked, wearing sneakers haha. I'd felt so comfortable sharing Sydney Olson the stuntwoman. Sydney Olson the parkour athlete. Even Sydney Olson the mindset coach (which this was a journey on its own), but I hadn't really shared Sydney Olson the human.

I received so many heart-felt messages. Some from strangers, some from old friends I hadn't seen in years, and some from people who had very similar stories and how this clip had them break down in tears, and they too were finally able to let go of this heaviness within them. I was so overwhelmed with love. And this was being reflected to me because I was finally loving all parts of me, including the ones that I previously pretended didn't exist. I now understand that being rooted in authenticity is what actually inspires others. It's not the flips I've done on concrete or how many times I can get thrown against a wall and look tough. It's opening up about something so deeply personal to remind others they're not alone and to empower them to share their truths.

So let's be real with each other. Because part of the human experience is to revel in the messiness of life rather than chasing perfection, which clearly does not exist, and would be so boring if it did. Thank you for coming on this journey with me and taking the time to read my first ever blog post!

All the best,

Sydney Olson